Monday, August 20, 2007

my comfort zone
i have found that i don't do well with the whole "entering an art competition" gig....Every onth or so i buy Art Calender and highlight the contests i want to enter...usually getting sidetracked by the themes and the deadlines...i have yet to enter a contest...even though i fool myself into think i will....I am the type of person who has to know that i can submit work that i want to do when i am ready...i ahve to know that there is an outlet....I think I have found such a situation....and now i just have to get off my tookus and convice myself that i can do it....i can do it prolificly....I have also been looking at other artists' posted pics of their work areas....not those cleaned up, organized ones that are posted after they straighted up for the pic...but the REAL ones...those that show the 5 x 5 space they have carved out for themselves in their bedrooms and surrounded themselves with supplies so they can work in a 15x 15 inch square on their work table and make no apologies for their creatively cluttered organized chaos....those are the pics i draw energy from and comfort in know that i am not alone and that i am normal and do not have to feel guilty for my disarray in my supplies...I feel like i am moving my supplies around this little apartment constantly, trying to find my "spot" my place to just spread out and not feel like i am going to get paint on my nice clothes or bump my foot into a wood sheet, or hit the door with a new canvas....I have decided that i am supposed to work smaller...that is the room i have...small...and people liek small works too....not to mention that i can get more done that way....so, I am finding my zone...coming to terms with my reality as an artist....




Things to do to get self focussed

go ahead and subscribe to art magazines i look for every month anyway:Somerset studio, Altered Couture, Art calender
Make the altered shoes, purse, and apron that i have been wanting to make for a while.
Submit altered clothing to magazine's open call.
Create 'houses' that i ahve been dreaming about.
Create collages that i have been dreaming about
Upload pics to blog
go to Dallas Art Dealers Open gallery walk in september
Send works to open calls.....
Do all of the above by october


What holds me back?
As an artist, i just want to dream and create, but often i get in my own way.mentally i guilt myself into a corner...with " i should be doing this...or that."I have been viewing other artist's blogs and feel sheer inspiration....and then here is that snking feeling that carries the questions:"why aren't i doing that? What is stopping me? What am afraid of?"Fear of faillurefear of falling on my faceFear of letting people down and that quiet dismissal that comes when you tried for first place, but didn't even get an honorable mention....that is the worst....and then there are the comparisons to others, the feelings of self worth and the struggle to stay above the water....and maybe it is my 35th birthday coming again....but i just thought I would have more done by now....or maybe i just thought this was when it was supposed to start....I am an art teacher.... this is my stability....the rest should be cake...there should be no fear...there should be only chances...because when i think about it like that...there really is nothing to lose....i should just go for it again... start entering shows again, submitting to my favorite art magazines, and just see what happens...pepper the art world with my presence and proclaim myself again.....I think i am ready....