when will it begin?

I have been struggling with what i am supposed to do withmyself as an artist since i graduated college back in 99...yeah, almost tens years....life happens...and to be honest i had a few demons to work out...

Then there is the whole fear thing,,fear of faillure, fear of success, fear of standing still....

I have been trying to figure out this whole mess...figure out where i came from and where I am headed....

I have been taking alot of photos lately, a medium i always loved...inspired by my grandmother who alwasy seemd to have a camera, though i rarely saw her photos....but her home was full of pictures from friendsand oved ones...the walls completely covered....I keep catching myself wanting to capture moments, images, spots, textures, events, days, people...to save them, catalogue them so i won't forget them...there are so many glorious moments....

but back to my point...

i keep wondering when i am going to get up and go?

And if i do, where do i go, how do i begin...it is one thing to sit down adn jot down some pictures, in myart journal, or paint a huge canvas, but where do you go from there...no one is going to buy a canvas yo stick in your closet of under your bed...no one is going to hunt you down if they have no idea who you are...


So, i have been rereadin my business, and art promotion book collection again to remid myself that i am responsible for making the world know me and my work....I am responsible for any shows or feedback i might stir or churcn....i have to get out of my cacoon and make thos esocial conncetions...I have to make myself not be the hermit i could so easily become....and often am...

I have to get out there andbe a social butterfly....and, gasp, make friends....

That is when it will begin...when i take those 6 steps to get to my goal...., now to figure out the goal....