mass production

I have been looking for shows to enter...and part of my struggle in the last year has been with the type of work i want to do...my problem is that I like to do too many things....i love to draw...i love to paint...make artist books....i adore clay and printmaking..sculpture...etc...i love it all....i like to draw simple forms, to slap layers of paint on a canvas....i love to struggle...and i love to acheive simplicity in my work....

and with all of this...i have struggled with the direction i want to go in relation to the direction other people seem to be pulled to....as far as my artwork goes...

i often feel guilty if i didn't struggle, and sweat bullets to create a piece....

And i have felt much confusion when i look at other's work and see their success.....

and i wonder, what the differences are....what makes this good and this not good? or is it...what beckons people toward certain types of work and not others?

I only know what draws me to other's works....

and that is their story.....

granted...at first...it is their skill....even if i may not adore something , if it is well executed....an artist will have my undying respect.....if it is simple and slapdash....i have a very hard time sticking with them..no matter how much other's like the work....this is me....

I feel like i have been doing slapdash work lately....

I also feel like i have really struggled with my subject matter....and style....

so, in an effort to get myself on track again....i am hoping to get into the habit of just trying to create for the sake of creating.....nothing else...

to just create mass amounts of work, because i need to, and hopefully, in that...i will start to find a path...a direction...one that doesn't leave me feeling empty and sad about the kind of work i have displayed....

and hopefully, somewhere in there...it will be something that challenges an audience....that causes an emotional stirring...and hopefully...iwill be able to look at it, myself, and be able to respect it....